Monday, August 18, 2008

Trouble Keeping Up & Fear

I am having a hard time keeping up with orders from my Etsy store due to my crap hands. So far I'm able to just barely keep up & some orders are a tiny bit slow. This is my only income so it's stressing me out. Hopefully I can get a recommendation from the geneticist for some ring splints to help my hands keep up.I have coban tape, but that isn't as sturdy as I need.

I am really starting to get scared about my appt at Mayo. I can't decide if a good appt will be one where they tell me I have EDS (or another HCTD) or one where they tell me I don't. If I have a HCTD then I have a HCTD. That means I am stuck with this crap for the rest of my life, that means my kids may have this, this mean I could have heart problems, this means I'm not going to wake up one day & be "all better", this means I will probably spend the rest of my life in pain of some level. On the other hand if I don't then what the hell is wrong with me? Why do I have this many problems? So I am just scared because I don't think this can be a good appt. I'm either back at square one or I'm fucked up. Neither option sounds like a good one.

Oh & it turns out my elbow was fully out this past Friday & it was the upper part (humerus) this time. That one kinda grossed my roomie out. It wasn't a pop-ish noise it was more of a soft thunk & she could feel it go back & see it go back in. When it's the lower arm it a quieter noise & she can sort of feel a tiny shift, this was quite different & apparently was kinda ick. It's strange to me, that I thought I was just cracking my joints, but it seems I was actually putting subluxations & dislocations back & never knew it.

No comments:

Post a Comment